The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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