So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
