I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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