Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
