I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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