That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
