hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
