My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize