when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
