You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
