id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
