he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
