dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
