My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
