Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
