im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize