it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
