We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
