So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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