You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize