Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
