Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
