Your tits are I can't wait for
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize