Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
