i jhust puked up my retainher.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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