How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
