Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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