HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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