I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
