i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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