Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
