What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I deserve this hangover.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
