i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
