Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
