so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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