He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
soo... how was my night?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
