I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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