I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize