She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
