I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
