Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
