Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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