Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Randomize
