i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
