Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My balls are so social today.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
