You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
