i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
