Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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