D3 body, D1 cock
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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