So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
