Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
