Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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