fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
