Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
