Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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