this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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