if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
