how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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