You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
