pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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