this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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