i can't believe i had my finger in that
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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