At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
