Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Randomize
