don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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